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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher


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CaliforniaA South Bay high school teacher has been arrested on suspicion of having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old male student, police said Thursday.

Trudy Hill, 32 and who teaches at Santa Teresa High School in San Jose, has been … arrested for sending harmful matter to a minor and oral copulation, police said. No other victims have been identified, according to police.

I’m posting this today with a specific purpose in mind. It’s to protect the proud tradition of the GtNSST blogs by establishing that we have standards to uphold.

There are certain cultural institutions that we treat as above reproach. And critics who treat them like they are beyond criticism. And I think ultimately that diminishes both the institution and the critic. Not every Meryl Streep performance is an-Oscar worthy tour de force. (See “Ricki and the Flash.” Or better yet, don’t. I know I didn’t.) Not every British historical costume drama is “riveting and well-crafted.” Not every dance troupe from some developing nation has to be called “vibrant and electrifying!!!” For every great piece of work you see, by definition something has to be not-so-good. In our participation ribbon world, that principle has never been more important.

Which is why I’m grading my girl Trudy Hill. Just to prove that they can’t all be champions. Six or seven years ago, when the Teacher Sex Scandal was in its infancy, maybe she would have been considered something special. But I didn’t build this empire by rewarding mediocrity.

The Grades:
Looks: At first glance, sure. She didn’t seem half bad. But once I get an idea in my head, I can’t shake it. And I hate myself for it. I simply cannot stop getting a little Bib Fortuna out of her.
Grade: C-

Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: This is it? This is all you can conjure, Saruman? A few texts and a blowie? Sorry, Tracy. That might have passed muster back when teachers were texting kids on a monochromatic Motorola flip phone. But you’ll have to step it up if you want to play in the modern SST game. 2005 called and they want their [insert reference to something associated with 2005] joke back.
Grade: D+

Intangibles: The fact that she taught at a Catholic school is kind of fun, I guess. But Santa Teresa is the patron saint of Spain, and I don’t know what do to with that. Even her name, Tracy Hill, is just kind of blah. It doesn’t sound like a stripper name like some of them. It would almost be better if she went parking with the kid ON Tracy Hill than be named that. So sorry again. There’s just nothing special here other than she’s the kind of garden variety Sex Scandal Teacher that elevates the game of the true greats.
Grade:D

Overall: D+.

Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 with #SexScandalTeacher. And be sure to include photos and a link or it’s of no use. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.