PornHub Would Like You To Have Yourself A Horny Little Christmas

You guys want to play a fun game? Okay here’s how it goes…. try getting the image of this old geezer jerking his cock out of your brain right now.

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Really, PornHub? You had to give the real life version of “Herbert the Pervert” a cameo in your new Christmas commercial? Really appreciate the nightmare fuel, guys. Much obliged.

And then how about this chick who is about to start flicking her bean in public?

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Listen, toots. We have to deal with people masturbating on public transportation enough on the other 364 days of the year. Just let us normal folk have Christmas to ourselves without having to worry about somebody fucking themselves on our train ride home. Same goes for Meredith here who is about to get down and dirty at work.

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Maybe you’d be working a job that didn’t force you to come in on Christmas night if you weren’t fingering yourself on the clock all the time. Ever think of that?

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And then there’s this pussy…

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Ha. Get it?

Anyway… Merry Christmas from the good folks over at Pornhub [dot] com. I feel like there’s a stigma against jerking off on major national holidays. But they are here to break that stigma. Jerk it on Thanksgiving. Jerk it on Kwanza and Hanukkah and Martin Luther King Jr Day and maybe even Groundhog’s Day if you’re a freak.  Have yourself a horny little Christmas.

P.S. – I feel like Pornhub Comments of the Week might need to make a comeback soon now that Asa is on the pirate ship.

@BarstoolJordie