Who Would Win In A Fight - Mike Tyson Or Lawrence Taylor?

First of all let me just say that this video explains why Mike Francesa has been numbah one for years and years and years. Listening to him just rip a caller for asking a fantastic hypothetical that would have been right at home on KFC Radio is what makes him the king. You know you have upset The Pope when he brings in the Mink Man to kick your proverbial dead corpse. Poor fucking Fred.

But anyway, the caller raised a great question. Who wins in a fight of two of the craziest motherfuckers from the 80s and 90s? If we go to the tale of the tape, we have Mike Tyson checking in at 50 years old and a stout 5’10”. In the other corner we have a 57-year-old Lawrence Taylor measuring in at 6’3″. I haven’t seen either come across my TV lately (which is probably a good thing for both of them to be honest), but I imagine they have that “post-athletic career” kinda doughy look to them.

When it comes to the fight, obviously Tyson has the experience since you know he was a fucking boxer and all. LT clearly has the size advantage and could have old man strength over Tyson. But the real difference between the two is mindset. I would imagine Tyson spends his days zooted to the moon just to normalize his brain while LT spends his free days on the golf course. But if this is a fight, I imagine Mike gets to skip his medicine while LT gets to take his *ahem* medicine.

Which is why it pains me to say that Mike Tyson beats LT handily. Lawrence Taylor was my favorite football player for my entire childhood and loved going out there like a bunch of crazed dogs and have some fun. But you can’t teach crazy, you can’t teach being named The Baddest Man On The Planet, and you can’t teach hands with this type of speed.

But this question is for the Stoolies as well. Who do you think wins in a fight: Lawrence Taylor or Mike Tyson?

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