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Would Cleaning A Walgreens Bathroom Make You Die? Well, It's Hard To Say.


ORLANDO, Fla. – The widow of a 69-year-old (writer’s note: NICE) man has sued an Orlando Walgreens store, accusing them of holding her husband captive until he cleaned and mopped the store’s bathroom.

Maria Elizarraras claims that the humiliation of the experience caused emotional distress so severe that it killed her husband, Fernando Elizarraras.

The lawsuit was originally filed in state court but was moved to federal court Monday, according to court documents.

If this story is true, I need to see the nuts on these employees. Telling a customer to clean up the bathroom with a mop after he used it is wild and borderline reckless. Show us your balls, fellas. It’s only right.

He must have been shitting while inverted twerking or something. I bet that’s what happened. This dude strolls into his local Walgreens and thinks this is his time to shine. He’s been thinking about it for years. “Can I shit while twerking while also being upside down? Will science and physics allow it?” And then he finds an unmolested bathroom at Walgreens and he knows this is the time.

He does it. He defies the odds and pulls off his restroom version of Starry Night. He’s riding high and about to leave on his high horse, but then the Walgreens employees stop him and his heart fails. He couldn’t take it. It’s like finishing your Master’s Thesis and having someone force you to alt control delete that bitch. DEVASTING.

Cleaning up his masterpiece so soon after he finished ferociously shaking his buttcheeks rocked him so hard that it literally killed him. Feel bad for the guy. Gotta think his wife is owed that 500k.