Some Clubs Are Gonna Start Offering Drug Testing Booths. Oh, You Thought I Meant Pee Test? No, I Mean Tests To Make Sure Your Drugs Are Pure.

(Source) — Nightclubs in Preston are to offer free drug testing to people who want to know if their Class A substances are pure. The walk-in booths, run by a charity, will aim to reduce drug-related deaths by checking cocaine and MDMA are not “adulterated or highly potent”. Lancashire police have reportedly said they are backing the scheme, which will operate in the city centre on Friday and Saturday nights from the beginning of next year. Volunteers operating out of a caravan will not handle the drugs directly and any substances tested will be destroyed afterwards, The Sunday Times reported, in order to ensure the operation is legal. Users will not be required to give their names, and will not face repercussions for possessing an illegal substance. Police have agreed not to target anyone using the booths and are reported to be “most supportive” of the scheme by the organisation running it.

Wait…. what the fuck is this shit? I’ll be totally honest, I started the blog before I read the story and now that have actually I read it I’m seeing that they take your drugs afterwards? Thanks for the free test to make sure I’ve got the sweetest fucking coke in England, guys, but I’m gonna pass. I mean really, like reallyreally, what the fuck do they expect this operation to accomplish? Who is going to try this out? “Step right up, folks! Make sure your shit is pure as the driven snow! Let’s see just how good those drugs you just bought off the bouncer’s friend really are! Grand prize for having shit that’s only been stepped on six times? WE TAKE YOUR DRUGS!” Appreciate the good volunteers and police of Preston looking out for me to make sure I don’t have anything dangerous in my drugs, but if I was looking for a healthy Friday evening I wouldn’t be doing bumps in the bathroom at fucking 3 AM on a Friday night. I’ll take my chances with adulterated and, hopefully, highly potent coke and MDMA, thank you very much. If I die, I die.