I've Never Seen More Game Than A 16 Year Old Picking Up His Teacher With Snapchat

PLANO, Texas – A Plano high school teacher was arrested and charged with sexual assault after police say a relationship between her and a student began on Snapchat. The 16-year-old student told police that he wrote his Snapchat user name at the top of a test while in 23-year-old Alaina Ferguson’s algebra class at Plano Senior High School, according to court documents. Ferguson replied via the social media app, and the two met a few days later and had sex on a park bench in Lewisville, the teen told police. Documents state that one to two weeks later, the teen and a friend came to Ferguson’s apartment in McKinney that she shared with her fiancé, who was away for the weekend. Ferguson and the teens ate pizza and played beer pong, the teen said, and he and Ferguson had sex while his friend took the dog for a walk. “Ms. Ferguson told [the student] that she knew it was not the right thing to do, but it felt right at the time, and that she was going to break it off with her fiancé because she didn’t feel anything with him,” court documents state.

Bravo! Magnificent! Genius!

We all have that one friend. The one who has a medical need for pussy, says things like “man there are no fuckin’ chicks here” when you’re at the bar for like opening weekend of March Madness, and has shitty pick-up moves like leaving their phone number on the dinner bill. We all have him, and he’s the worst. But this kid is that friend 2.0. Leaving numbers on dinner bills? Lame as shit and unless you leave a $1,500 tip then I’d guess it has a 0.0% chance of working. Leaving your Snapchat at the top of your test for your hot 23 year old teacher to see? Next level genius. That’s 2016 game. If I know anything about women (I don’t) it’s that they love confidence. Does this kid pass that test? I’d say he passes it with aplomb. It takes the biggest of balls to pull a move like this on your teacher, so big that she has no choice but to respect it and maybe wonder just how big they are while grading that test. Next thing you know you’re kicking your friend out the door with her Shih Tzu, draining that last shot of beer pong, and smashing out your high school teacher while her fiance is away for the weekend. Gotta tip the cap here.

PS – Shout out to the teacher for dropping after school special lines like “I know it’s wrong but it feels so right.” When you’re fucking 16 year olds who couldn’t find Dawson’s Creek with a map and a GPS you’re free to let heat like that spray.