KUZIIIIIIII you sandbagging son of a bitch! I can’t believe we have had the wool pulled over our eyes by two Euros over the last year. First we had our Latvian unicorn quietly fly under our radar despite being a Latvian hip hop fan that once had dreads and would love to hit the sheets with Rihanna. And now it comes out that Kuzi is a goddamn stud on and off the court. If I had known this was Kuzi’s girlfriend, I would have had wildly different expectations for him. I just saw him as the floppy haired Euro that could shoot and would probably have a nice time playing for the Westchester Knicks, even though being from Lithuania instantly made him cool because of those tie dye basketball shirts. But I should have known there were layers to Kuzi like an onion once I saw that he wore number 91. Not just any player wears number 91. That’s a special number. A number worn by The Worm and Ron Artest. You gotta be special to wear those two digits. If I had seen this picture of Kuz, I would have known he had the fortitude to perform at The Mecca. Balls of steel.
Sure the Knicks starting lineup is good. You expect that from a super team. But I did not know Jennings and the Euro Boyz would be the most fun unit in the NBA this season. And yes I know that being a pro athlete in any country usually helps you land a beautiful woman. But not a goddamn 25/10 who oh yeah by the way is a dancer from Eastern Europe. Basically one step up from the gymnast on Seinfeld. Unbelievable. Fucking Kuzi, man. You think you know a guy from a few YouTube scouting clips and short write ups after he signs with your team as a free agent.
Oh yeah, you are probably looking for some more pictures of the unbelievably beautiful woman that is dating Kuzi. Here you go.
Love you Kuzi. Welcome to the family Egle.