According To Jon Jones, Jon Jones Failed His Drug Test Because Of His Big Ol' Penis And The Drugs He Needs To Get It Hard

(Source) Jon Jones failed a doping test before UFC 200 this summer because he took an off-brand Cialis pill, he said on the Joe Rogan Experience yesterday. He told Rogan that he has a huge cock, and that he takes male enhancement because it “it puts the twist at the end of a punch” and “it’s a good time” while pantomiming a growing penis.

Hey Jon, congrats on the huge dick my man. I think this is what the kids call a #humblebrag? It’s the most overused phrase on the internet right now, but I believe it fits perfectly here. I wish I didn’t fail my drug test but it happened because of my big penis. Humble brag. That’s using the term properly.

Nonetheless, I’m not gonna pass judgement here because I have no idea what makes an athlete fail a drug test and what doesn’t, idk if adderall actually does or if horny goat weed pills from Mobil do. More importantly, I don’t give a FUCKKKKKKKKKK about athletes taking steroids. I don’t give a fuck about people taking steroids, whether you’re in the NBA or you’re my goddamn cab driver. Who gives a shit? What I do give a fuck about is this off-brand Cialis. What’s it called? Does it work? Where can I get it? I’ve been saying for like 3 years that I’m ready to hit the Viagra train but that involves a doctor and I haven’t seen one of those since I was 22 and he told me I need to cut down on my drinking. Had enough of those quacks but if we’ve got some OTC shit that can get Jon Jones’ massive dick hard then I’m sure there’s something that can turn me to stone.