Miltons is going to hook up your entire wedding, up to 8 groomsmen, with all the gear they need. Send in your email to email@example.com and we’ll have stoolies vote for the winners. We’re loading up right now for the next Pimp My Wedding Contest so if you are getting married next Spring/Summer send in your nominations. The next winner will be announced December 30th.
What’s up Barstool,
Meet my buddy Gabe aka Sgt. Gabriel for the PFCs out there. Gabe’s an avid Stoolie for who flexing on Kim Jung Un in the Korean DMZ was too easy, so he’s pursuing a new challenge and getting married this summer. I’m writing you guys because my boy needs an assist like the Cleveland Browns need a 2014 Draft do-over. Not only did Gabe totally outkick his coverage with the lady, but he’s also a Wilkes-Barre dude signed up to get married in the same Santa Monica church as Tom Brady and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Tom F-in’ Brady. No pressure. Now Gabe’s no Tom Brady, but here’s what I can tell you about him: he’s the most humble guy I know, he’s a stache away from being Ken Bone’s doppelganger, and he’s a Marine Corps GWOT Trapstar who recently traded in his rifle for law school casebooks.
The guy’s earned everything he has, knows that Saturdays are for the Boys, and has a mean Obama limp wrist when shooting darts (photo evidence attached). Now here’s the thing. While the future Mrs. Gabe can take the man out of Wilkes-Barre, without your help I don’t know that we groomsmen can take the Wilkes-Barre out of him. Great town, but we can’t have him wearing a Doc Gooden jersey to his own wedding. If anyone deserves – and frankly, needs – to get his wedding pimped, it’s this guy with a Mike Piazza heart in a Phil Kessel body. I’d appreciate the help from Barstool and Miltons, and I know he would too. Viva la Stool.