Advertisement

I Stand With This Woman Who Called The Police On A Man Who Was Whistling Semisonic's "Closing Time"

I love Semisonic’s “Closing Time”. It’s an all time 90’s jam. It should be played at every bar in America right before the lights start coming on and you dive-roll over to the nearest 5.3 to take one last swing for the fences. However, I stand with this woman who called the police because a man wouldn’t stop whistling it:

Time - When a man wouldn’t stop “obnoxiously” whistling Semisonic’s ’90s rock ballad, “Closing Time” near her house, an Oregon woman made the only logical move—she called the cops to report a crime.

Police officers responded to reports of a “jack-ss guy” who wouldn’t stop whistling, according to Captain Mark Herb of the Forest Grove Police Department, who writes the department’s always entertaining weekly police log.

While the whistler had moved on by the time police arrived, cops still located him and, according to Herb, he was still whistling “Closing Time.” Police officers spoke to the man who said he was upset that he had been told to shut up. Cops sent him on his way, and according to the notes left by the officer in the police log, “he whistled his way back home.”

Whistle people can be the worsttttt. I don’t mind a friendly whistle, a tap of the feet, or an impromptu acoustic version of a song every now and again. But when someone is whistling, and it’s the only noise and you cannot get them to stop, is where whistling becomes problematic. And that seems to be the case here. He was seemingly outside of her window, just whistling Closing Time on loop, with no stop in sight. I don’t care if he was whistling all the hits of the 90’s, after 3 minutes of whistling, it becomes too much. Go find a stage and microphone if you want to put on a show, otherwise keep it moving and keep those lips shut, not in a circular formation whatsoever.

When it comes down to it, whistle people know others don’t like to hear them whistle. This certainly isn’t the first time he’s had someone call the cops on him for whistling. It’s his thing. It’s what he does. He knows nobody likes it but he keeps on whistling anyway. Must suck if you’re a small town that has a whistle person that they wish was a troubadour. Nobody hates the town troubadour. Everyone hates the town whistler.