I’ll admit, I’m not a parent so I don’t know the rules and regulations on this type of stuff but I do have Facebook. On there people wish their babies a happy 1-month or a happy 7-months or a happy 19 months or whatever. But never not once in all of my years of Facebooking have I seen someone wish their 8-month-old a Happy Birthday. Why? Because that’s not how fucking birthdays work, Ivanka. It’s just not. Birthdays are annual. One every 12 months. You don’t get a birthday every month despite the wishes of college girls everywhere. I realize her dad is about to be the leader of the free world but we have to keep some sense of order around here. Some facts need to remain facts. Riptide Rush is the best Gatorade, crunchy Cheeots are better than puffs, Christmas-themed Oreos taste better than regular Oreos and birthdays are only celebrated once a year. Maybe Ivanka simply had a brain fart and accidentally typed birthday. Or maybe she thinks the rules don’t apply to her cause she’s rich and hot and probably has had sex with the about-to-be most powerful man on the planet. I don’t know but it’s concerning to say the least.