I Have PTTD

You ever went on five week college football tour? For the most popular college brand in the country? And your best friend from High School was the driver? And your job was to drink as many beers as possible? And those beers were free? You ever did that, and then come back to the office and sit in front of your computer for almost 10 hours straight without a single noteworthy thought go through your head and wonder what’s wrong with you? Only to come across a video at 7pm at night that reminds you of it all? Remind you of what once was? And then that same video slaps you into reality and reminds you of what now is? That you’re back living and working in the most expensive city in the world? Where you accidentally thought you could buy a bottle at a club and it literally cost you half your paycheck? Where they have dudes working for tips at bathroom sinks so aggressively that you just decide washing your hands isn’t worth it? And then have to live with the guilt of knowing you’re still pretty fresh off Hand, Foot, and Mouth and there’s a small chance you could still be contagious? But not guilty enough to just pay the guy, wash your hands, and live with a free conscious? You ever think that that guy might sneakily be making more money than you? And that he actually lives a pretty comfortable life? And doesn’t have to walk to work in the cold because he can afford to Uber? But actually uses the newer and more cost affective ride sharing app Juno because he’s good with money management and stays up to date on the latest applications and technologies? So good that one day he’ll have saved enough money to be an angel investor in a new tech company out of Silicon Valley? And that company will grow to be so successful that he’ll never have to work again for the rest of his life? But nevertheless, still choses to continue giving hand towels to strangers in restaurant bathrooms because it keeps him grounded? So grounded that when a Los Angeles movie producer hears his story he calls for it to be made into a feature film? And the script is promising, but the guy from the bathroom is so displeased to learn that former Trump basher Alec Baldwin has been cast to play his role that he nixes his entire involvement with the film; yet, they continue production by shifting the narrative to a more fictionalized coming of age story about a first generation immigrant?

You ever found out you had Post Traumatic Tour Disorder on a Tuesday night?