Not to go all Darren Rovell on everybody, but this is ENORMOUS news, right? The only thing that keeps me coming back to regular TV are my local sports teams and the hatred of being called a cord cutter like all those weirdos that love preaching how they don’t need cable. Oh yeah and because I hate change more than anyone else on the planet. I love my DirecTV remote and know all the channel numbers I will ever need to know. But saving $100 a month wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I proudly use my parents Netflix and HBO Go accounts even though I am a grown ass man with a family of his own. I would have no problem using their Prime account to fill in the gaps with my digital programming. And if I happened to order a package or two “mistakenly” under their account, I know they would never actually ask me for the money.
Plus maybe once Amazon gets into the sports business, they could see that this upstart site known as Barstool Sports is crushing the internet and write a blank check to the Big Swinging Dick At The Cracker Factory and everyone in the company becomes millionaires overnight. An unstoppable website that started as a bookstore teaming up with an unstoppable smut blog that started as a newspaper. A match made in heaven! Make it happen, Amazon. Make it happen. I’ll even order a package right now that I’ll instantly forget about until it arrives on my door, and even then I won’t be sure exactly what it is. Help me help you help me (I think all this hypothetical moneymaking will help me at some point).
And if any of this news could somehow negatively impact the aforementioned Big Swinging Dick, please go to the bottom of the blog for a very important message.