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Eggnog Season Is Back, Bitches!

#InNogWeTrust

A yearly tradition like no other. The one time a year where it’s socially justifiable to drink alcoholic pancake batter in public and nobody will bat an eye. And any observance where poking extra holes in your belt is not only acceptable, but encouraged, is something America can celebrate together. Screw the Holidays, spending time with the family, or whatever else you’re required to pretend to enjoy in the latter months. This time of year means one thing and one thing only: The Return Of Egg Nog. I know some of you may have gotten an early fix, but by on my watch the week of Thanksgiving is when it’s socially acceptable to clog those arteries with that sweet, sweet Crackmilk. I don’t care if Dave Attell is correct in saying Egg Nog is in fact Elf Cum, it’s not going to stop me from adding 10 more pounds to the face before the New Year. Like the Mackinaw Peaches that only ripens for two weeks out of a year, you have to get it in while you can.