I Have Been Inspired By The Girl Who Thought It Was Completely Normal To Ask If I Was Breast Fed

So here’s what happened- This lovely girl came in to audition for Barstool Idol. Not the easiest thing to do, so points just for walking in the door. However, I don’t wear kid gloves or give preferential treatment just because you have a pretty face. A talent competition is a talent competition and this is 2016 where women can drive, women can vote, and women can be president run for president, so I don’t need to treat them any differently than the guys who come in here.

So she said she wanted to do man on the street interviews, which is great because we don’t have anyone here who currently does those. Next thing I knew, she was asking who in the office was the worst with girls. I gleefully raised my hand. No shame in my game, I’m an honest Abe and I’m not a sly casanova when it comes to the fairer sex.

So I go up there, thinking she probably had this whole routine planned out andddddddddd nothing. Nothing at all. You gotta come stronger than that! I wasn’t there to audition, she was…..And then she asked me if I was breast fed as if it was the most normal question of all time. She then asked the rest of the office and it was crickets. As well it should have been.

So all that being said, I decided to take to Bumble and see if I could improve my skills when it comes to talking to girls. Got to put in the reps for the real thing which is why we masturbate in the morning so we are prepared for the session at night. And I think the whole Bumble thing went pretty well.

Somehow I haven’t heard back from this gal. Weird.

Again, haven’t heard back, very weird. Must be busy at work or something.

And then I topped it all off by asking my mom the question of the week….you know, just your normal, late night texts #BlogLife

So there you have it, scared of boobs from day 1. But shout out to my preschool girlfriend! You could still be with me now if you weren’t such a 4 year old bitch.

PS: Sup Erin?