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Apparently The Only Thing That Ages You Faster Than The Presidency Is Losing The Presidency Because Hillary Is Looking Rough

Yooooo what has Clinton been doing for the last week and a half, picking incorrect Holy Grails?! Just sitting at home and choosing poorly while the life force gets sucked out of her? Goodness gracious, Hill, I know you just went through a tough breakup and get it together.Go get a tattoo or die your hair black or some shit, deal with it like everyone else. Because sitting in the dark and crying into empty bottles of cab sav is not a good look once you step back into the light.

Or maybe Hillary is just at the marriage stage with the American people and all the excitement is gone? She tried to impress us and make us fall in love with her dabbin’ and hot sauce in her bag swaggin’ but now she just doesn’t give a fuck? She’s done with makeup, done with trying to charm us, done with putting on airs, and now she’s just at the “I SACRIFICED EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I GAVE YOU MY BEST YEARS AND WAS SO GOOD AND LOVED YOU AS HARD AS I COULD, YET THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT ME?!” *dinner plate shatters* phase? I can’t really blame her if that’s where she’s at, just a bit of a shock when juxtaposed to the lady we saw a few weeks ago.

It’s understandable and all that, no one goes twelve rounds with the devil himself and comes out looking like a teenager, but that’s a stunning appearance right there. Stunning. And we thought presidents aged fast, don’t nobody age like a failed president forty years in the making. I’m certainly not saying I’m hoping for it or anything like that, but I’m not sure I’d be shocked to see Hillary pull a Paterno on us soon. Everything she ever wanted just got taken by an idiot orange racist baby, I’d checkout too.