Live EventBarstool Phoenix Mini Golf Open Presented by PringlesWatch Now
Barstool Live: KFC, Brandon Walker, Feits and More LIVE from Barstool Scottsdale | Tonight at 7pm ESTTUNE IN

Swallowing Your Pride And Becoming An Umbrella Guy Is One Of The Best Adult Decisions You Can Make

Screen Shot 2016-11-15 at 12.58.34 PM

vs

raining_david_tennant

A lot of people have a very staunch anti-umbrella stance. Would rather put on a hat, put up their hood, and walk to work (or class for the younger folk) in the rain. I used to be this way. Not sure I even owned an umbrella in college. Not sure I cared enough about anything when I lived in NYC the first time and commuted to my bullshit job. A little bit of rain wasn’t going to make my miserable life any worse. Best case scenario I got hypothermia and spent a couple weeks in the hospital.

But now, I’m an adult. I mean I dress like a homeless teenager and speak like a pre-pubescent boy on his way to the homecoming dance, but I am an adult nonetheless. I have a little thing called an IRA. Have benefits. Can afford all the alcohol I need to make me feel good about myself. And that’s what being an adult is all about. Which means I now feel good about carrying an umbrella. Holding an umbrella screams sophistication. Holding an umbrella screams direct deposit. Holding an umbrella screams “I go to bed at a reasonable hour and bring my mother flowers when I go home for the holidays”.

For some reason there is a stigma with holding an umbrella, but I’ve realized that is just childish. Keeping yourself dry should be your own top priority. Look out for number 1, not some unwritten rule, not people’s eyes you might be poking out on the street. Worry about you, your clothes, and your comfortability at work. Nobody wants to sit in the freezing cold because they were too proud to carry a 4 dollar piece of plastic. Don’t be about that life. Join adulthood. Be an umbrella guy.