Dude Strangles His Dick Trying To Use His WEDDING RING As A Cock Ring

Johannesburg - A rare penile strangulation emergency in which a man had put a wedding ring on his penis for erotic pleasure has been described in the latest issue of the SA Medical Journal (SAMJ). The 28-year-old man, who was in “severe pain”, was admitted to a hospital in Limpopo accompanied by his mother. “His penis was severely swollen and blue, and constricted with a ring (wedding ring) at the middle section. The patient reported that he had applied the ring four hours previously for erotic reasons, on the recommendation of friends,” the SAMJ said. The date of the incident was not given.

I’ve never come onto this here website and pretended to have the largest dick in recorded history. Quite the opposite, in fact. But… I mean… what the hell, man? How does this shit even happen? The article says it was a recommendation from friends so I’m guessing they were just shooting the shit and he was like, “my dick, which is the girth of angel hair pasta and also the stiffness, isn’t satisfying my lady” so they told him to pop a cock ring on it and he just assumed “cock ring” meant “take a ring, any ring will do, and put it on your penis” so he grabbed the closest one?

Bad idea.

I’m not an instructions manual guy or a “research” guy either, I’m more of a “let’s just do it, what’s the worst that could happen?” man. But I’ll actually put in a little effort when it comes to my dick. You only get one of them in life, it’s best not to fuck it up. Trying a lube? Read in a product review or two. Notice a bump? Mix in a google search. Exploring a new sex toy? Make sure it fucking means what you think it means and don’t just put a wedding ring on your cock. Those things are til death do you part and they might take it very literally. Just a little advice for the “what’s the worst that could happen?” guys because in this case the worst that can happen is you choke the life out of your cock.