Oreo Released Its First-Ever Chocolate Candy Bars

Fortune- Chocolate lovers, rejoice. Thanks to Oreo, cookie-lovers will be flocking to the candy isles today. In a partnership with Milka, Oreo just dropped its first-ever chocolate bars: The Oreo Chocolate Candy Bar and The Oreo Big Crunch Bar. The former is filled with vanilla creme and bits of Oreo cookies, then coated in Milka chocolate. As the Los Angeles Times notes, it’s sort of like a crushed double-stuffed Oreo that’s been covered in chocolate.

The latter is the bigger of the two, at a whopping 10.5 ounces. This chocolate bar is an Oreo cookie that’s been sandwiched between two layers of vanilla creme filling, then coated in Milka chocolate. As Eater describes, it resembles an inside-out Oreo cookie. For those scurrying to the nearest grocery store to find the candy bars, there’s a catch: Although there’s a limited rollout of The Oreo Big Crunch Bar today, a nationwide distribution of both flavors won’t start until Jan. 2017. But once fully distributed, the new bars will be a permanent part of the Oreo family, according to Mondelez, Oreo’s parent company. For now, those who are looking to taste The Oreo Big Crunch Bar can find it at Walmart, Kroger, ShopRite, and Albertsons, according to Mondelez.

I apologize if this comes as a surprise to anyone, but I am not going to cum myself over this news. I mean am I excited as hell whenever a new candy bar is about to hit the market, let alone a candy bar featuring one of the staples in the junk food game. But I am pumping the brakes here for one simple reason. All of the Oreo foods out there do a fantastic job putting the Oreo chocolate in their desserts by you doing the scientific process of crumbling up the wafer. But the Oreo is so much more than that. The foundation of the Oreo is the creme. Yes I know there are loony toons out there that thing the cookie is better than the creme. Those people are simply wrong. The creme is the franchise. The show stopper. The icon. The main event. It’s the straw that stirs the drink and the drink itself. The cookie is just the glass holding said drink. It’s the reason that Double Stuf and Mega Stuf move units while Oreo Thins collect dust in the grocery store. So unless this candy bar actually has Oreo creme inside of it, it’s going to be just another blah Oreo creation. And if we really want to get down to brass tacks, having some bootleg company named Milka making your bar with a wrapper that looks wayyyyy too European for my liking is red flag city. I’ll go into this with an open mind, mouth, and heart. I am excited, Oreo. But I’m also scared. Really fucking scared.