On any given day, there could beat least 75 new posts up on this goddamn website. Now granted, there are always some re-blogs and at least 20 wake ups/GTA’s/Smokeshow posts, but there’s still a shit ton that goes on every day. Between all those posts and listening to all the podcasts and trying to actually do a little bit of real work throughout your week, it’s easy to see how you would miss some things here and there. Even if you’ve signed up for the BARSTOOL SPORTS RANDOM THOUGHTS NEWSLETTER (sign up here), there are still some posts that just fall through the cracks. So that’s where In Case You Missed It comes in. A quick week in review on Friday afternoons highlighting the major stories from Monday-Friday for those of you who aren’t able to sit there and read every single post (or just wait for the second something is posted so you can be the first to comment about how shitty the blogger is).
Monday November 7
– No better way to start off the week than with the news that Old Balls will be making his return to Barstool. Gonna need Milmore to whip up a “I’m Coming Home” montage with all the School Teacher Sex Scandals that Jerry Thornton has written over the years.
– Thankfully we’re getting closer and closer to the end of 2016. And with just under 2 months until it’s over, I think we finally found the Video of the Year with this baby sea iguana escaping a gang full of snakes. There hasn’t been a car chase in action movie history that has matched that kind of intensity.
– Pretty tough break for Reggie Bush who paid his mistress $3 million to have an abortion only for her to not actually end up getting one. You know when you buy something from a vending machine and then it gets stuck? You know how irrationally angry that makes you? Well now multiply that by like at least 17 because instead of not getting that Snickers bar you paid 95 cents for, you’re getting a baby that you paid $3 million to not have.
Tuesday November 8
Did anything big or important happen on Tuesday? Like anything that would majorly impact world news? No? Didn’t think so.
– Donald Trump is your 45th President-elect of the United States of America. Proving once and for all that you can be anything you want to be if you’re a billionaire.
– Regardless of who you voted for on Tuesday, you’re an asshole if you wore an “I Voted” sticker.
– Hundreds, if not thousands, of news outlets covered this election. Which network got everything 100% right and hours before everybody else? That’s right. The Barstool News Network.
– Most shocking news of the day was the dude who is the voice for AOL’s “You’ve Got Mail” is now an Uber driver.
Wednesday November 9
– Kmarko chimed in with maybe the greatest piece of journalism of the year across the entire internet: The Cocky And Dismissive Media And Blog World Has Nobody To Blame But Themselves For Their New President Donald Trump.
– Donald Trump was elected to be the 45th President of the United States. I know you thought that happened on Tuesday but it wasn’t official until it could be confirmed by Magic Johnson via Twitter the next day.
– Only Colin Kaepernick could be a big enough asshole to make Stephen A. Smith go on a rant that the majority of people actually agreed with.
– Outside of the election and politics, here’s How To Celly Like A Beer League Hero
Little shameless self-promotion there since nobody else is going to help out in that department.
Thursday November 10
– Remember when the Pro-Hillary crowd was worried that Donald Trump would protest the election after he lost? Well yeah, they’re handling the surprise election just the way you’d expect them to. Feits put it all perfectly in his “All of the anti-Trump protests across the country almost make me happy Trump won” blog.
– Speaking of anti-Trump protests, Rone baby the Prince went out into the streets to see what they were all about.
– There’s nobody in the history of history that is better at pre-fight press conferences than Conor McGregor. That is just a fact supported by scientific evidence.
Friday November 11: Thanks to all the men and women who have served. You guys fucking rock. Here’s how you and Zero Blog Thirty can both work together to help raise money and awareness for our Veterans.
Smokeshow of the Week: Sofia from FIU