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Glad To See That The Red Sox Got Their Own Bus During The Cubs World Series Parade

Welp. Can I still be happy for these guys and want to kill myself at the same time? Because that’s how I feel.

I’m not going to go into a whole detailed history lesson about what led us to this point, but WOW did the Red Sox fuck this one up big time. We don’t sign pitchers over the age of 30, so let’s offer Jon Lester $70 million over four years. Just kidding, we do now, so here’s $135 million over six years. Oh, we’re too late? Go fuck ourselves? I guess we’ll just give $217 million to David Price over seven years to make up for it.

Oh, we pissed off John Lackey by lowballing Lester, so now he doesn’t want to pitch here for the league minimum salary, which would’ve been an incredible value? We pissed him off so bad that he wants to be traded? Okay, fine. We’ll trade him for fucking Allen Craig and Joe Kelly. Good deal.

Oh, it’s come to a point where Theo Epstein and Larry Lucchino have butted heads so much that I have to choose between a genius baseball executive in his late 30’s, who could very well hold a top baseball executive position for the next 30 years, or a man in his late 60’s who probably only has four or five years left in the game? We’re going with Lucchino. Definitely Lucchino.

I had finally gotten over all of this. I had finally gotten to a point where seeing Lester in a Cubs uniform looked somewhat normal to me. But this picture, obviously taken at the Cubs World Series parade today, is just a giant fuck you to the Red Sox, and I’m honestly glad that they took it. What a colossal fuck up by the Red Sox to let Theo Epstein go, and take Lester with him three years later.

I could live with Lackey going elsewhere, and David Ross was going to go wherever Lester went. But the fact of the matter is that Lester should still be in a Red Sox uniform right now, and he’s not because the Red Sox ownership group thought they were the smartest guys in the room. They’re not. Theo is. Not only that, but Theo should’ve been the guy who re-signed Lester to stay with the Red Sox, not signed him to become a member of the Chicago Cubs.

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Even as a Red Sox fan, I’m glad that these guys get to laugh in the Red Sox’ faces today. They deserve it. “They”, as in Theo, Lester and Lackey deserve to do the laughing, and “they” as in John Henry, Tom Werner and Larry Lucchino deserve to watch them laugh in their faces.