I’ve seen a lot of snot rockets in my life, most of them on the baseball diamond. Never in my life have I seen anything like those two mucus missiles. But I’d honestly expect nothing less from Jon Lester. The postseason is his stage, and the World Series is his playground. He knows how bright those lights are. He knows it’s time to go big or go home. He knows everybody’s watching. And he knows that nothing less than greatness is acceptable.
Look at the blast radius:
You just don’t see that anymore. Now, you’re probably sitting there asking yourself, “Okay, so if that’s what an elite snot rocket looks like, then what does a below average snot rocket look like? If I have nothing to compare this to, then how will I know when I see one that’s elite?” I figured you’d ask that. That’s why I went into the archives and dug up a below average snot rocket from Clay Buchholz.
That’s why Jon Lester is Jon Lester and Clay Buchholz is Clay Buchholz. Lester’s snot rockets make his nostrils look like the fuckin’ water cannons on the Pirates of the Caribbean Disney ride and Buchholz’s nostrils look like a plastic pellet gun from the dollar store.
PS — Where else are you going to get MLB snot rocket analysis? Suck on that, Statcast.