Tiger Went On Colbert And Says He Plays 8 Hours Of "Call of Duty" A Day

And people wonder why Tiger doesn’t do more late night talk shows. Well it’s cause he STINKS at them. Really stinks. That was bad. That wasn’t good. Tiger refuses to play and that’s all Colbert wants. The first minute of that was pure torture. He exhibited the charisma of a piece of plywood. Which is weird because we hear all these stories about Eldrick having a cutting sense of humor behind the scenes but then the lights come on and it’s dull as a butter knife. The stuff about Call of Duty was for sure mentioned in the pre-interview and that was supposed to be the funny part. Fell pretty flat. It’s also an extension of Tiger being uber-obssesed with the military. We all remember that Wright Thompson piece where it became shockingly clear that Tiger had a weird military fetish. The guy just wants to be a Navy SEAL. Real or video game.

The best part was Colbert asking Tiger about his divorce* and how it’s possible that him and Elin are on good terms after how their marriage ended. Laugh out loud funny shit and I’m glad Tiger laughed at it, too. I so badly want to get to a place where we can make jokes to Tiger’s face about that time he got outed for fucking 50 porn stars and pissing on their faces. That’s the world I wanna live in. Seems like we’re getting there. Also, somebody tell Tiger to start shaving his head. It’s time……it’s time.

*If you don’t think Tiger and Elin are getting back together some day, you’re crazy. Tiger wants Elin so bad and it’s only a matter of time before they get married again. I’d bet my life on it.