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Ken Bone Has Officially Sold Out So He Can Go Right To Hell

How fucking DARE this guy. The nerve. Ken Bone, who do you think you are, dude? You’re a nobody. You’re a chubby, adorable, lovable midwesterner that the internet randomly decided to make famous for a reason that I still don’t totally understand. And, what, you want to disrespect that honor we gave to you by trying to put food on your family’s table? Boo. Boo! BOOOOOOO!!!!! Fucking piece of shit sell-out. You don’t get to profit off internet fame, dude. That’s for everyone else to do. That’s for vulture blogs making tshirts and Izod promoting your cable knit sweater and JC Penny putting that same sweater as buy one get one half-off and Jimmy Kimmel using you to get viewers and CNN using you for the same. But you? No. You have to stay poor and chubby and lovable. How fucking dare you try and profit off your likeness while the rest of the world does the same?

Anyway… buy a shirt!

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