In Case You Missed It: October 3-7
On any given day, there could beat least 75 new posts up on this goddamn website. Now granted, there are always some re-blogs and at least 20 wake ups/GTA’s/Smokeshow posts, but there’s still a shit ton that goes on every day. Between all those posts and listening to all the podcasts and trying to actually do a little bit of real work throughout your week, it’s easy to see how you would miss some things here and there. Even if you’ve signed up for the BARSTOOL SPORTS RANDOM THOUGHTS NEWSLETTER (sign up here), there are still some posts that just fall through the cracks. So that’s where In Case You Missed It comes in. A quick week in review on Friday afternoons highlighting the major stories from Monday-Friday for those of you who aren’t able to sit there and read every single post (or just wait for the second something is posted so you can be the first to comment about how shitty the blogger is).
Monday October 3
– Golf certainly needs enforcers as Rory McIlroy ended up kicking a heckler out at the Ryder Cup. Call me old fashioned but I miss the days when guys like Happy Gilmore would beat the shit out of hecklers, not snitch on them.
– I really couldn’t care any less if professional athletes decide to stand or kneel during the national anthem. But when you play in the fucking band at ECU? Just shut up and play the damn music. Nobody care of band members are kneeling during performances. Go shove a flute up your ass.
– This dude seemed way too calm after getting mauled by a grizzly bear twice. You watch “The Revenant” one time and then all of a sudden everybody knows how to survive a bear attack.
– I bet Jets fans would rather get mauled by a bear than have to watch the rest of this season. Because as it turns out, watching the Jets is now making fans physically ill and they’re puking all over themselves at the games. At least they have baseball to look forward to….
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Tuesday October 4
– Poor wittle baby Odell Beckham Jr isn’t having any fun anymore pwaying football for millions and millions of dollars. Wahhhh. Wahhhh… Is Odell Beckham Jr. the biggest loser in the world? Yes. And it’s not just because he has Ramen Noodles for hair.
– Between the little hood rats in North Philly riding around the streets on dirt bikes and this jabroni whipping down I-76 on a Big Wheels, I think it’s safe to say that Philadelphia has a transportation problem.
– I can’t wait for October to be done already so we can stop hearing about all these goddamn clowns every day. Speaking of clowns…
– An unruly Blue Jays fan threw a full beer and some additional racial slurs at Orioles outfielder Hyun Soo Kim. I’ll just say this; no hockey fan would ever throw a beer at a player without at least finishing it first.
Wednesday October 5
– What’s the more mind-bottling move from a delivery guy; Posting up in the office to grub down some snacks for an hour after making the delivery? Or shaking your hand and saying “nice to meet you”?
– Here is why white mothers should never ever ever once in a million years decide to listen to rap music.
– It is with a heavy heart that we must announce that LSU’s Mike The Tiger will be humanely euthanized after his cancer has spread. Between a new coach and a dead mascot, LSU might just find a way to win a damn championship this year.
– The only person more dead than Mike The Tiger is Kevin Clancy after this ding dong from Conor Gillaspie. We’ve all suffered agonizing defeats before in our lives. The main difference here is that KFC’s was broadcast live to thousands and thousands people.
Thursday October 6
– KFC’s sports death begs the question: is it almost better to be like Chaps and have all of your teams suck dick because at least you’re life is stress free?
– Russia televising children’s MMA fights is another stark reminder that the Russians are way more savage than we’ll ever be. That’s some serious Hunger Games shit right there.
- Peter King was a great sport during his Pardon My Take exit interview. He was also way too comfortable with having a picture of a massive cock shoved in his face.
– Things got a little out of hand during Larry II The Gambling Goldfish’s Week 5 NFL Picks… to say the least. I’d maybe think about fading Larry this week. Might have been a little too much going on for him to make the right calls.
Friday October 7: That is today.
Bonus: I didn’t write an entire fucking movie this week to not end up posting it again here. So without further ado, here is the full D4: The Mighty Ducks blog series.
Smokeshow of the Week: Pauline from USF
