Feels Good Being A Stress Free Sports Fan

For years I’ve lamented how my teams haven’t been good. The Jaguars haven’t made the playoffs since 2008. The Orlando Magic haven’t made it out of the first round since 2010 and haven’t made the playoffs in 4 years. Mississippi State has never sniffed the SEC West Championship and UTSA is just getting started in football (they aren’t good.)

Am I living the barstool writer’s dream by being so far out of contention that I will never have KFC’s moment last night? I will never have the stress and humiliation that he did. So far 95k people have tuned in to watch Clem and KFC get their souls ripped out on Facebook Live. Not sure that would happen on a casual Thursday night Jaguars/Titans primetime game.

Sure my teams have been awful and that sucks but I deal with that misery alone. Nobody really picks on the Jaguars and Magic guy at this point. We haven’t earned the jabs over the last few years, and now that I work here, that’s ok. Watching KFC from afar last night was painful. My pals just getting their dicks kicked in repeatedly over the course of several hours. Clem was laughing through the pain and KFC was a rollercoaster of emotions.

Perhaps the worst part about the Mets losing is that Clem’s dynamite strike three calls won’t be remembered and that’s a shame.

The only thing that will be remembered is their despair and that’s not fair, but it’s to be expected.

Although my teams suck, I won’t have to deal with this:

or this:

or having your saddest sports moments live on the internet forever:

if only there was a way that this all could have been avoided…