Noah Syndergaard vs Madison Bumgarner In A Battle To The Death - Who Ya Got?

Tale of the Tape

Noah Syndergaard

Age: 24

Height: 6’6

Weight: 240

Hometown: Texas

Weapon: Hammer

Quote: “If they have a problem with me throwing inside then they can meet me 60-feet, six-inches away”

Madison Bumgarner

Age: 27

Height: 6’5

Weight: 235

Hometown: North Carolina

Weapon: Lasso

Quote: “I mean, I don’t really drink much of the beer. I just pour it on me. It’s pretty difficult to drink six at a time or whatever it was.”

Clash of the Titans. The Immovable Object vs the Unstoppable Force. Thor vs Bumgarner. Bumgarner has that Bear Gryllis vibe to him. Like he’ll beat you to death with a tree trunk or something. Unleash some Predator shit on you where he goes Guerilla Warfare on you and lassos you up and leaves you strung up to a tree.

Thor is one outburst away from killing someone I think. Hes real quiet and low key in the media and the public but make no mistake about it, Noah is a stone cold killer. A silent assassin I think it all stems from pent up rage from when he looked like this in HS:

Now he’s fucking chiseled from stone, has the nastiest arm in Major League Baseball, hair like a model, and he embarrasses everyone that steps to the plate.

MadBum has his Paul Bunyan vibe and Noah has that Marvel Superhero vibe. Tonight is a pick em, and a bareknuckle boxing match would be too. I have supreme confidence that if you just locked those two guys in the bullpen at Citi Field and let them fight to the death, Noah would walk out covered in Bumgarner’s stupid inbred hick blood.

Time to vote. Who would win in a fight?: