Now the average person looks at this and says “Look at that Jets fan! Hes so shitfaced!” Oh no no. Au contraire my friend. This person is stone cold sober. Its just that his football team is literally killing him. Fitzpatrick interceptions and red zone turnovers and bust coverage TDs and shitty coaching. Its actually causing people to fucking die. Their bodies start rejecting themselves. Puking your insides out. I heard this guy lost control of all bodily functions. Entrails all over the place. Hes dead. RIP in Peace. Doctors said cause of death was the New York Jets.
I was gonna Cuncel Da Saeson yesterday. I probably still should. Its so early so I was hesitant, but this team stinks. They are definitely losing the next 2, and then after a 1-5 start everyone just packs it in and goes home. Its even more disappointing than usual. I wasnt delusional enough to think they were dethroning Belichick and the Pats but I really thought this was the best team they assembled since those early Rex days. If Fitz replicated last year with all his upgraded weapons and if the defense played up to their potential, this was gonna be a contending team…
…instead Fitz sucks and the secondary is ATROCIOUS and they’re careless with the ball and Todd Bowles isnt doing shit about it. Just a total let down and even worse than your standard Jets letdown. Need this Mets team to win on Wednesday and make a little run here because as soon as they’re finished we’re staring down the barrel of meaningless sports for the winter.
PS – That dude rocking a fitbit cracked me up