Happy National Coffee Day, everybody! Shout out to my fellow coffee drinkers. If you don’t wake up and drink coffee within one hour of being awake, you’re suspect. If you wake up and are able to just go about your day without any caffeine, you’re suspect. I’m serious. I don’t trust people who can operate on their natural energy levels. Call me a fiend. Call me a sheep. Call me whatever you want. I drink multiple cups of coffee 365 days a year. If I could inject it start into my veins I would. Do I feel like a drug addict at times? Yeah I do. But being addicted to coffee beans is better than being addicted to heroin or cocaine so I think I’m doing alright.
In terms of that video of 2 Chainz drinking cat poop-flavored coffee, that’s a little suspect. My feelings towards fancy coffees are the same feelings I have towards fancy beers. I’m pretty sure people are just pretending they can tell the difference. We all have friends who drink fancy beers and try to tell you that it was made from Alaskan tree bark or the outter rim of an Elk’s butt hole. It’s all lies. Beer tastes like beer and coffee tastes like coffee. Coffee even more so than beer. You could brew me up a pot of Folgers and a $600 pot of Cat Poop Coffee and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference and neither could you.