Watching Netflix On Your Phone At The Bar During A Football Sunday Is The Wildest Move I've Ever Seen

Craving some chicken wings yesterday, I went to a bar after the first quarter of the one o’clock games. That’s a dangerous move by me on a Sunday afternoon because Sunday “wings” usually evolve into Sunday beers which then works its way to Monday hangovers. But I was craving and craving hard, so I had to bite the bullet.

That picture is what I saw as soon as I walked in and it’s still bothering me greatly at this very moment.

I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt at first. I assumed he was just a huge football fan and was watching the Broncos game (for some reason the only game not on a TV at the bar). He had to make sure that he saw every second of football action that day, I figured. But after 10 minutes of no football on the phone and a shitload of Benjamin Linus cameos (I knew Ben Linus couldn’t still be getting that many commercial gigs) I had to google it and see what the fuck was going on. It turns out he was watching “Person of Interest,” a show that’s not even on TV anymore.

OUTRAGEOUS move. Even more outrageous than the fact that when I left the bar after the one o’clock games, he hadn’t had one single sip of that beer. Same exact level that it was when I’d arrived two hours earlier. What could possibly be the explanation for this? Who goes to a bar on a Sunday afternoon, props up their iPhone, pops in their headphones, watches television for hours, and doesn’t drink beer? WHO DOES THAT? The only explanation I can think of is he just had to get out of the house? The cargo shorts, the old, mid-high socks, and the dirty sneakers tell me he’s a dad so maybe he just needed some time alone so he told the wife that he’s going to meet some friends at the bar? Maybe they’re binging “Person of Interest” but he had to find out what the cliffhanger at the end of the last episode was all about but didn’t want to get in trouble? It could be anything but none of them make me think he’s any less of a crazy person. This whole thing is going to bother me until the day I die and there’s no doubt about it. Preposterous. Just preposterous to pull a stunt like this.