How Rattled Does George Clooney Have To Be That His Wife Is Suing ISIS?

Riggs9/21/2016 5:20 PM

Amal Clooney and a Yazidi Genocide survivor are demanding ISIS be tried for crimes against humanity https://t.co/70sbnGMDJ5 pic.twitter.com/DFqPTVWSeL
— PAPER Magazine (@papermagazine) September 19, 2016

NBC News — The ultimate goal is to get the International Criminal Court to prosecute the crimes committed by ISIS commanders against the Yazidis, for what the United Nations and U.S. State Department agree is genocide.

“Victims have all said they actually want their day in court,” Clooney told NBC News in an exclusive interview over the weekend. “It’s not going to be easy, but we’re working on multiple fronts.”

Last week, the two women made the rounds at the United Nations in New York, meeting with officials — including the U.S., Russian and Iraqi ambassadors — in hope of persuading the world body to refer the Yazidi slaughter to the ICC.

How pissed is Clooney he doesn’t have just a normal fucking wife right now? Just a run of the mill ball and chain? All his buddies’ wives dragging them to Broadway plays or surprise birthday parties for adults or dinner with the in-laws. Not Clooney’s. “Hey honey we’re suing the shit out of ISIS and going super public about it.”

Number 1 goal for non-terrorist people in relation to terrorists is to keep as low a profile as possible. Stay off their radar. Give them no reason to kill you, let alone know you even exist. Here Clooney thought he went above and beyond and hit the jackpot by locking up a trilingual, intelligent, ambitious smoke prosecutor. She bops around for a few years working big cases and lawyering the shit out of international law. All good stuff.

Then he wakes up one day, flips on the news and sees “Clooneys suing ISIS!”

Awful. That’s kinda like your boss mocking ISIS, challenging them to attack your office, then leaving town for the week. Imagine how crazy that’d be?

PS — Jokes aside Amal Clooney is a badass. She’s legit. She’s fluent in English, French and Arabic, studied pre-law at Oxford, has defended and taken up the cases of people that have been through absolute hell, and has (along with George) been huge advocates for Armenians seeking justice for the Armenian Genocide (fuck yeah).

This video takes you a little more in-depth on the logic behind suing ISIS. Go Clooney’s wife! (feminists hate when you call her that)