In Case You Missed It: September 12-16

barstool-sports-icymi

On any given day, there could beat least 75 new posts up on this goddamn website. Now granted, there are always some re-blogs and at least 20 wake ups/GTA’s/Smokeshow posts, but there’s still a shit ton that goes on every day. Between all those posts and listening to all the podcasts and trying to actually do a little bit of real work throughout your week, it’s easy to see how you would miss some things here and there. So that’s where In Case You Missed It comes in. A quick week in review on Friday afternoons highlighting the major stories from Monday-Friday for those of you who aren’t able to sit there and read every single post (or just wait for the second something is posted so you can be the first to comment about how shitty the blogger is).

Monday September 12

– We finally made it out of the Dog Days which means one thing and one thing only; football season is back. And football season being back means another one thing and one thing only (guess technically two things and two things only but whatever); it’s time to Make Monday Mornings Great Again. So how do you do that? simple. By bombarding the shit out of your stupid little face with all the football recaps and rewinds and roundups you can handle. It’s like drugs for your eyes. So here’s what you may or may not have missed last weekend in football.

– Monday was Clem aka Megabus aka Wide Load’s first day in the office. We found out that son of a bitch has a 2.5 hour commute to work every day now. Does Pres need to fire him for his own good?

Clem aka Megabus aka Wide Load doesn’t think that Pres should fire Clem aka Megabus aka Wide Load for Clem aka Megabus aka Wide Load’s own good. I’m with him.

Tuesday September 13

Michael Rapaort found 2 dead cats in his fountain and I’m not all too convinced he didn’t kill those cats on purpose just so he could be on Pardon My Take again. Mount Rushmore season is over but Wednesday’s episode definitely goes in my power rankings as one of the all-times so far.

This 8-year-old fat little tubby Mexican looking rugby kid is a once in a generation type of talent. Beast Modelo.

Malia Obama hangs out with a bunch of fucking snitches. Maybe a college kid playing beer pong doesn’t necessarily need to be front page news.

The Air Sex World Championships are coming to Philly this year on October 22nd. BREAKING NEWS: I’ll be there as a guest judge so make sure to bring your A-game, ya freaks.

Wednesday September 14

Jonah Hill got the most butthurt on a French tv show because some chick on the show said she would never want to have sex with him. While I don’t blame the broad, I think Jonah Hill is in the right here. You don’t go to France to be made fun of. You go to call them all a bunch of pussies and maybe eat a few hundred baguettes. Fuck that chick.

This Astros fan needed 7 cops just to get him out of the stadium. He was a white guy so they weren’t allowed to just shoot him I guess.

Colin Powell might want to change his email password from Passw0rd123. However, as far as email leaks go, this one was pretty good. If anything, it reminded everybody that Colin Powell is a pretty regular dude.

-Speaking of the Bush administration, George W. Bush will finally release a painting book. If you don’t wish that George W. Bush was your grandfather, politics aside, you’re just a stick in the mud. Out of office, the man is a sweetheart.

Thursday September 15

– Maybe Trent is staying in Iowa just so he can stay close to this sexy ass teacher turned stripper.

South Park is finally back in our lives after the season 20 premiere. The episode, however, was… well… not really that great. Ton of potential but as far as South Park goes, it was a C/C-.

– I know that we don’t consider ourselves journalists here at Barstool Sports [dot] com. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t still ask all the tough questions. Questions such as “is the word rad back?

A bunch of scientists say that the five second rule is a hoax. I say that a bunch of scientists are pussies.

Friday September 16: That is today.

Other

– There’s been a new podcast added to the Barstool Network. Make sure to go subscribe, download and listen to Chaps’ new show “Zero Blog Thirty”. It’s a good listen if you want to feel like a giant pussy for the rest of your day because you didn’t serve your nation overseas.

– If you are interested in making any free money over the weekend, Larry II the gambling goldfish made his weekly NFL picks. He also got a little tobacco in his fishtank so you know he’s for the boys.

This week on the Dave Portnoy Show, Pres had Anti-Club Cool as guests continuing the trend of only landing the most hard-to-get guests for his show.

– Make sure to sign up for the Random Thoughts daily newsletter from Barstool Sports. Basically makes this entire post even more redundant than it already is.

Smokeshow of the Week: Natalia from Cincy

12345

6

7

@BarstoolJordie