Barstool’s Champions League Preview – Matchday 1b (aka “The Day FOX [Finally] Went Too Far”)

Sam’s Soccer Safe Space For Stoolies


Hello haters,

To paraphrase a famous quote said by some old school dude who is definitely dead and probably didn’t like soccer…

“First they came with Gus Johnson, and I did not speak out—

Then there came with Eric Wynalda, and I did not speak out (much)—

Then they bumped Bundesliga for NASCAR, and I did not speak out—

Now they’ve come for Spurs—and there was nothing left to care about.”

By way of explanation, FOX decided this morning to drop Tottenham’s Champions League game from Fox Sports Regional to (subscription-based) Fox Sports PLUS. I have forgiven them a lot of trespasses in the past, but this one may take the cake. Not only are they not showing Spurs (or Leicester for that matter) on any of the three accessible FOX networks, but they are showing something called “US Mid-Amateur (Semifinals) Golf” –AMATEUR GOLF?? – on Fox Sports 1.

That’s it. They have gone too far. Congrats, FOX, you have made yourself a mortal enemy today.

Oh, what’s that? FOX owns rights to the 2018 World Cup? SPLENDID!

But enough about that (for now)… once again, no additional introductory commentary necessary:

If that doesn’t make your heart skip a beat then we probably can’t be best friends. (Your loss.)



Reminder: I already wrote a COMPREHENSIVE PREVIEW OF ALL EIGHT GROUPS, including predictions for which 16 clubs will advance to the knockout stage, so go read that and it should give you a pretty good roadmap for how I think the groups will ultimately shake out.

As for today (along with scores from yesterday), here you go:


I wasted my entire morning telling Fox Soccer to go fuck themselves so I’m gonna have to keep this short…

Picks for the day:

City [-260]
Monchenpenisgladbach [+500]
Draw [+430]

Definitely hard to love the odds on City. ‘Gladbach is not a pushover. But the English side has too many weapons and a coach who has been there before so tough to go against them at home on the opening matchday. City to win 3-1.

Stay strong, homey

Stay strong, homey


Tottenham [-140]
Monaco [+400]
Draw [+270]

Tough not to like those odds on Monaco, ESPECIALLY since Spurs’ “home games” for Champions League are being played at Wembley. If you are looking for an unbiased prediction on this game though you’re just gonna have to look elsewhere. Spurs to win 3-1.


Brugge [+200]
Leicester [+140]
Draw [+220]

This is a tough one. First game on this stage for Leicester and many – though not all – of its players, whereas Brugge seems to make it to the Champions League group stage more often than not. The Foxes are coming off a pretty bad 1-4 loss to Liverpool, then again the Belgians just lost to something called Waasland-Beveren sooooooo… against my better judgment I think Leicester will be up for this one, though they are going to have to lean heavily on fearsome attack to overcome some notable defensive frailties. Leicester to win 3-2.




Juventus [-210]
Sevilla [+550]
Draw [+340]

Let’s be serious, Juventus is scary this season and Sevilla is shooting for third place in the group. Juve to win 2-0.



Reminder: Manchester United got a “bigggggggggggggggg” game tomorrow….

Welcome to Spursday!

Welcome to Spursday! We all float down here!

Sam U.L. Army