Firefighters Called After British Man Gets His Penis Stuck In A Toaster
(Source) Firefighters came to the rescue of a man in distress when he got his penis stuck in a toaster. It is unclear exactly what the humiliated gentleman had been up to, but fortunately London’s finest arrived to extricate his manhood from the electrical device. Unbelievably, another adventurer rivalled his ridiculous antics by somehow getting his member lodged in a vacuum cleaner. And the ultra-professional London Fire Brigade staff have had to free 79 people from handcuffs in the last three years alone. These embarrassing incidents are just some of 1,300 involving people being trapped or stuck which have been attended by London Fire Brigade since 2010. Each rescue mission costs at least £290 to deal with, meaning they have set the taxpayer back at least £377,000 in total. Third Officer, Dave Brown, said: “Some of the incidents our firefighters are called out could be prevented with a little common sense.
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Here’s what I don’t understand. Of all the things in your house to put your dick inside of why a toaster? That’s like going to bar with a million hot chicks and talking to a 5. I mean the spots where you can stash your penis are literally endless. Vacuum, tub spout, pillow cushions on your couch, between the mattress and box spring, food, socks, paper towel rolls, you can take the top off the toilet and dip your dick into that weird water, pillows, I mean the last time I was in the “let me touch my dick on everything in the world” mindset was when I was 13 but the game is still the game right? I never thought about going for a toaster, that’s just dangerous and dumb. That’s how people get hurt. Keep your dick away from all electrical items, that’s rule number one of the weird masturbation game we have all played at some point in our life.
PS
Unless this was one of those cool new age toasters that fruity people buy at Sharper Image, those toasters are just begging to get fucked. Might as well just say Rape Culture on the side of it.
