This Girl's Got An Unconventional Reply To Dick Pics On Tinder That Would Not End Well For Most Dudes

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I’m sure somewhere out there there’s some sort of combo platter Thai/LGBT group who would behead anyone for making a joke about the overwhelming amount of ladyboys coming from their great nation. And if you had to put a gun to my head, I can’t say with 100% confidence she’s joking. But that’s what makes the bio so great. For girls dick pics are a minefield, a seemingly nice dude in a cardigan talking to a chick about her job will come out of nowhere with a pic of his cock head glistening with semen out of nowhere. Using the power of stereotyping and xenophobia to form an effective dick pic defense…how could you be mad at that? Unless hers is bigger I guess. Bit of a ding to the ego.

And oh boy this is a good start to the first ever Barstool Office-written Tinder blog. I’ll be honest: I’m not sure if me not being on my couch stoned off my ass writing it is going to be a plus or a minus for this process but this is a week of adjustment for everyone so let’s figure it out together. Please do follow me on Twitter and DM me your screenshots (add me on Snapchat too since I now spend 9 hours a day in an actual content factory) and let’s get to the profiles!

BD

(via BD)

Z-puppydogfilterisakeypartoftheImFuckingDudesOnTinderBehindMyBoyfriendsBackstarterpack

The puppy dog filter is a key part of the I’m Fucking Dudes On Tinder Behind My Boyfriend’s Back starter pack (via Z)

WG-listennoonewantstomakethisjokesowhyevenmakeusthinkitBowD

Listen no one wants to make this joke after all the positive Thai PR earlier so why even make us think it? (via WG)

SM-shouldnitjustbepuppiesorisshegoingtoshowusfriedcornmeal

Shouldn’t it just be “puppies” or is she going to show us fried corn meal? (via SM)

S-ifeellikeladyolympianswhovemedaledaretoogoodtobeontinder

I feel like lady Olympians who’ve medaled are too good to be on Tinder and should probably save (via S)

PFJ-assumingsarahistheoneontheleftsheseemslikeshecouldhandleherselftbh

Assuming Sarah is the one on the left she seems like she’d be way better at handling herself tbh (via PFJ)

TOB-soarethecondomsforawaterballoonfightorsomething

So she’s queer, that’s fine…are the condoms for a water balloon fight or something? (via TOB)

LL-onewouldassumeheflunkedoutofBonerU

One would assume he flunked out of Boner U (via LL)

DK-thecheerleadersonbumblestillbeingthereafterthebigofficemoveisreassuring

The cheerleaders on Bumble still being there after this big office move is reassuring to say the least (via DK)

CC-utahcheerleaderswouldbebehindenoughonthetimesnottobeonbumble

Utah cheerleaders would be behind the times and on Tinder instead of Bumble (via CC)

DH1

DH2-iwishdragonswererealsolelyforthisgirltoexcitedlymeetoneandittoimmediatelybiteherfaceoff

I wish dragons were real solely for this girl to excitedly meet one and get her head bit off and lit on fire within seconds (via DH)

D-youjustknowalatinareportermilfisagoer

You just know a Latina MILF newscaster is in on some real goer shit (via D)

CC1

CC2-ifeellikecokeofftheassismorerealNEVERFORGETRAQUEL

I feel like coke off the ass is way more of a loving move #neverforgetRaquel (via CC)

C1

C2-seemslikethatdbeeasiertofindincalithanatTuftssogoodcalliguess

Seems like that’d be easier to find in non-San Diego/San Fran/Los Angeles Cali than at Tufts so good call I guess? (via C)

K-agirlsentthisinsayingshesawitaftermovingfrommainetoarizonaandyeahidsaythatseemslikeawisemovejusttobesafe

A girl sent this in saying she saw it after moving from Maine to Arizona and I’d say that’s about as logical of a transition as this person’s (via K)

C-bigtimewendypeffercornpotentialhere

Big time Wendy Peffercorn potential here (via C)

BL-thatcocksnotglocksmovementreallyextendingthebrandallover

That Cocks Not Glocks movement is really extending the brand all over (via BL)

B-reluctantacceptanceofSaturdaysAreForTheBoysisstillacceptance

Reluctant acceptance of #SaturdaysAreForTheBoys is still acceptance (via B)

SM-smhsoshessayingyourcollegeclosingleavesyouwithablackbabygettheSJWsonthis

Smh so the implication is your college closing results in you having a black baby?

(via SM)

SLC-gladtohelpoutcolleenbarstooltinderroundupmakesthingshappen

Glad to help out, Colleen, the Barstool Tinder Roundup makes things happen (via SLC)

lovelace-ibelieveher

I believe her (via Lovelace)

AT-soentrepreneurialsoevil

So entrepreneurial, so evil (via AT)

DS-hmmthissoundslikesomesortofbigtittedtrickerysoyoulikeherforheractualpersonality

Hmm this sounds like some sort of big titted trickery so you’d like her for her personality. Not buying it, jugs (via DS)

And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…

TR-HOTNSFWareverseflasherpicisagoodwaytolooklikeafreespiritwithoutbeingone

A reverse flasher pic is a good way to look like a free spirit while actually being a prude (via TR)

J-HOTNSFWeverysetofseethroughnipsontheappshashtagthespagspromise

Every set of see through nips on the dating apps will be on this blog before I call it quits #thespagspromise (via J)

MP-HOTNSFWPAIRWITHOTHERthespagspromise

#thespagspromise (via MP)

KA-HOTNSFWimnotsureifshepoststhingspubliclyyetbutimwillingtogiveafollowtotry

I’m not sure if she posts things publicly but I’m willing to give her a follow to try to find out (via KA)

JT-HOTNSFWweshouldadvertisemoreinUSAToday

So USA Today is good for more besides stepping on accidentally when leaving a hotel room, good to know (via JT)

JS-HOTNSFWcloseupbuttshotsthetrashierbutmorefuncousinofthefarawaybuttshot

Close up butt shots: The trashier but more fun cousin of the far away butt shot (via JS)

BE-HOTNSFWtheunderneathbuttshotiseasilythemostaggressive

And then you have the underneath butt shot, the other cousin of the far away butt shot who had an abortion at 16 and no one in the butt shot family discusses out loud (via BE)

JR-HOTNSFWmaybeweshouldhaveopenedthenewbarstoolHQinboston

Maybe we should have opened the new Barstool HQ in Boston (via JR)

J-HOTNSFWvineyardvineshiringgirlslikethistosellrainbowbeltstomenisasavvymove

Vineyard Vines hiring girls like this to sell products explains why I subconsciously bought a rainbow belt from there once (via J)

HK-HOTNSFWithinkketchuphatersaredumbbuthonestlythisisaconvincingargument

I think ketchup haters are dumb but honestly this is the most convincing argument I’ve seen (via HK)

EJG-HOTNSFWificanstopchicksfrommakingbullshitfoodeatingbragsidbehappytheresnowaythischickeatsmorethan2mcdoubles

If I can stop chicks from making bullshit food eating brags I’d feel like I’ve made a difference with a blog, the chance this chick eats more than two McDoubles is between slim and none (via EJG)

E-HOTNSFWyeahsureatanlined18yearoldbuttseemschill

Yeah sure a tan lined 18 year old butt seems chill why not (via E)

D-HOTNSFWthisweeksreminderyoudsmokeoutatransbrazilianchick

This week’s reminder you’d smoke out a trans Brazilian chick and hope you fall asleep stoned before piecing together what’s going on (via D)

CB-HOTNSFWonlywaytomakeithotterisifsheweretakingoffthenursescrubs

Only way to make it hotter is if she were taking off the nurse scrubs to reveal it (via CB)

MW-HOTNSFWwaitbutASUsmascotisnt

Wait but ASU’s mascot isn’t a shock…oh. I get it. She likes vaginal and anal stimulation. I get it. I get jokes. (via MW)

CB-HOTNSFWifihadtoblindlybetonagirlsnameresultinginherbeinghotkyliewouldbeaneasywin

If I had to blindly bet my life on a girl’s name resulting in her being hot, I’d have to go with Kylie as the safest pick (via CB)

AC-HOTNSFWthisisgreatPRforliberalartscolleges

This is great PR for liberal arts colleges (via AC)

MS-HOTNSFWINSERTFLOATONSONG

(via MS)

AD-HOTNSFWsheseemsartsyidonthateit

She seems artsy, I don’t hate it (via AD)

AG-HOTNSFWifyouswiperightherethatsconsentimo

If you swipe right that counts as consent FYI (via AG)

And there we have it, our first office Tinder roundup in the books. Make sure to follow me on Twitter and DM in screenshots, thanks to the people who sent ones in, and happy swiping!