Don't Tell This Kid That No One Gives A Shit About Fullbacks

“Hey man, no one cares about the fullback.”

“Oh yeah? Fuck all the fancy one-handed catches and juke moves that go viral, watch me set the internet of fire with this lead block.”

MONSTER hit. Literally took the kid’s head right the hell off. I mean I legitimately think The Hulk could have been in the backfield for that play and the result wouldn’t have been any different. Probably would’ve been less destruction, if anything. I haven’t thought about a real fullback since Mike Alstott* was alive (he’s still alive) but this kid’s changing my mind in a big, big way. Mike Alstottt, Tim Riggins, and number 44 on the white team: only fullbacks whose names I bothered to remember. Hope this kid is doing the position proud by being an animal who drinks whenever he wants and fucks whatever he pleases.

* Were the rumors that Mike Alstott was so musclebound that he couldn’t reach the other side of his body to soap in the shower true? Or was that a Marilyn Manson got a rib removed to suck his own dick rumor? Was it even a rumor at all or was it just at my high school? Because we talked about that a lot.

PS – Pretty shocking he’s black right? Fullback is for white dudes.