Miltons is going to hook up your entire wedding, up to 8 groomsmen, with all the gear they need. Send in your email to email@example.com and we’ll have stoolies vote for the winners. We’re loading up right now for the next Pimp My Wedding Contest so if you are getting married this Winter send in your nominations. The next winner will be announced September 30th.
This Week’s Contestant
What’s going on Stoolies,
The guy in these pictures is Doug. He gets the outstanding privilege of being engaged to my sister. However, he really needs all the help he can get. As you can see, his hairline is receding faster than Lebron James’. Kid is only 23, so he should be able to go dressed as Mr. Clean for Halloween full time in a couple years. Also, he doesn’t have much for a sense of style. Superhero t-shirts and khaki cargo shorts are pretty much his go to attire on a daily basis. Being the best man for the wedding, I can’t risk what I will be asked to wear. He could pull out the tuxedo t-shirts or the even worse, suit with tennis shoes. I can’t allow my sister to be standing next to him dressed as a smuck, saying I DO. To make matters even worse, they decided to have their wedding 3 days after my birthday. November was my month for 26 years. Football, Thanksgiving, and my birthday, couldn’t get a better combination for a month than that. Now, I have to take a back seat to them and their anniversary.
Doug is a great guy though. There isn’t a better person I could think of to marry my sister. He treats her like every girl imagines to be treated. They are currently living in Philly because my sister is attending medical school. She is buried in school work every day so he is the sole financial contributor to the relationship. He has already graduated and is working as a middle school teacher making peanuts. The school he works at isn’t in the best area but beggars can’t be choosers and they need to pay bills. Everything is coming out of his salary including my sister’s tuition. Obviously, he won’t be able to pay for it all but he is trying his best to give her the least amount of debt possible when she is finished. Money is definitely tight for them and getting hook up for the wedding by Miltons would be a giant help. They truly are living the American grind to help make a better future. I firmly believe they will make it because they are two of the best people in the world but everyone needs a little help from time to time.
Thanks for reading and letting me share his story.
Viva la Stool