Paul Bissonnette Getting A PTO With The Kings Is A Reminder That Yes, Hockey Needs Enforcers

Jordie8/23/2016 3:25 PM

In case you forgot, the opening day of NHL Free Agency didn’t quite go as planned for our boy Biz Nasty. After doing nothing all day besides stare at his phone, and presumably gas a few Molsons, he was left hanging high and dry.

But a month and a half later, that has all changed for Biz. Because yesterday, Paul Bissonnette signed with the Los Angeles Kings.

Well, he at least signed a professional tryout with the Kings. But it’s still his signature on a piece of paper from a National Hockey League team nonetheless. Biz hasn’t been in the NHL since the 2013-14 season. But he’s spent the past couple seasons playing in the Kings’ minor league system and lets see how that’s worked out for him so far…

Ho hum. Just leading the Manchester Monarchs to a Calder Cup from the 4th line. The kid–who is now fully grown man child–has a winning pedigree. You can’t teach that. He knows what it takes to will his team to victory and it sure as shit ain’t flashy plays that make SportsCenter actually show a hockey highlight for once in their life the next morning. It’s his fists of fury. The Kings know this and it’s why they signed him (to a professional try out). And this is why hockey is the greatest sport on planet Earth. The sports world has gone to shit recently. Everywhere you turn its either CTE this, CTE that, Little League World Series coaches going out to the mound to tell their pitchers that they love them, you name it. Sports have grown soft, but not hockey. Hockey realizes there is still a need, and will always be a need, for guys like Biz Nasty. Guys who aren’t good at the game by any means. In fact, they’re actually kind of bad at it. But even though they suck, they know how to throw a punch and they want nothing more than to take a few to the face themselves to will their team to victory. It’s called setting the tone, pussies. And nobody sets it better Biz. Both on and off the ice.