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Just Your Average Shooting In Broad Daylight While Attempting To Park In South Philly

PV - Philadelphia police are seeking help from the public to identify a man who fired several shots at a car as its driver — who was struck at least twice — tried to park on a South Philly street last week. According to police, the incident occurred at 6 p.m. Wednesday on the 2000 block of South 21st Street, and the victim was a 22-year-old man who suffered injuries to his face and arm. Video footage provided by police, shows the suspected shooter walking onto 21st Street from nearby Snyder Avenue. He then waited for the victim’s vehicle. After the victim’s car appeared on the block and as he attempted to park, the video shows the suspect firing shots into the side of the vehicle.

Look, I’m not trying to be naive here and say this dickbag opened fire in the middle of the day because someone tried to take his spot in South Philly…but this dickbag definitely tried to murder someone in broad daylight because they took his spot in South Philly. I’m not saying it’s right, but that’s just the way it goes around those parts. There are three things you don’t fuck with when it comes to your average South Philly degenerate: A man’s girlfriend, pills, or parking spot. All three will get an instant, overly insane act of retribution. Again, I’m not saying it’s right, it’s just the way it is. If anything the driver is lucky this wasn’t the winter or else the shooter would’ve came out there with a cannon instead of a handgun. Even money he’s related to this gem of a citizen we found in South Philly over the last snowstorm:

gem

Related: What’s The Official Ruling On Keeping Cones/Chairs In Shoveled Out Spots On Public Streets?

I’m sure this guy’s a real treat to talk to after a rough day. At least he could easily snag a pizza box lid from work to write out this masterpiece. And FYI, the play here is to not park in his spot, no no no. The veteran move is to construct a massive, 8ft snow dick and film the ensuing flip out from a safe distance. If you survive then you’ve got yourself some A+ Worldstar footage. That goes for even if you don’t make it out alive, which is the most likely scenario. This guy definitely has a metal bat in his trunk and it’s been swung for less.

Let’s all settle down, band together, and direct our combined hate towards people who deserve it like the PPA. I still think this guy and his big fucking dick would win a Philly Mayor election in a landslide on that platform.

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