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Talkin' Fashion With Uncle Chaps: Florida Man Introduces Sunshirt to Savages

What’s a sun shirt? It’s the invention that changed my summertime outdoors life forever. For my entire life, I’ve been a ginger kid who gets absolutely wrecked by the sun. Sunburn from my head to my dick to my toes. Everywhere. I’d get sunburned so badly after two hours that I’d legit be sick. Not anymore. I’m done with that life.

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Look at me in that sun shirt. Drip Drip. Talkin bout sex fluid. Most people think it’s like a t-shirt or something a poor would wear when they are fat as fuck and in a community pool. Not the case. It’s a very luxurious material that keeps me both safe and sexy. I dont have to worry about sunburns any more. Sun shirts have out evolutioned the sun. Fuck the sun. The sun can’t adapt fast enough to burn me. I own the sun now. I can be outside, drinking adult beverages, fishing, boating and what have you without a care in the world. I don’t even wear sunscreen now. It’s the cockiest I’ve ever felt. It’s liberating and the last time I checked, Americans like having liberty.