I Don't Want Anyone On My Track Team Who Isn't Diving Across The Finish Line

I didn’t even know this was legal until last night but starting right now I want any American track athlete who doesn’t dive across the finish line to be kicked off the team and maybe tried for treason. It’s an absolute no-brainer to dive. No. Brainer. Just look at that picture right there: Allison Felix dives, she wins. Shaune Miller stays upright, she loses. That’s the difference, gentlemen. Track is a game of inches and on this team, Team USA, we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that’s gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying!

Once I found out you can do this I got legitimately upset that people don’t do it every race. Why the fuck wouldn’t you? I don’t care if you’re in first place, dive for the record or dive just to prevent the person in second’s dive from beating you. I don’t care how much it hurts, I don’t care if you get some road rash, you’ve been training for four years and you’re willing to lose strictly because someone else wants it more? Fuck that. Get dirty. Get nasty. Get down. Lay out and break that plane before the pansy standing upright does. Pain is temporary, glory is forever, chicks dig scars, and all the other No Fear t-shirt quotes.