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I Have To Go To Court Today Because I Didn't Put My Trash Out Correctly

 

 

 

So I originally thought this was because I forgot to put my trash out one weekend, turns out it’s because I put it out on a different weekend but had an extra bag that didn’t fit in the one barrel the city provides so I just put it on the ground right next to the barrel. Is this the most preposterous thing ever? I have to go to court for that? I have to waste my time, and the time of the court’s, because I had an extra garbage bag? It’s insanity! I guess that’s how you know you’re living in a place where there’s not a whole lot of real crime going on, but this is still absurd. A hearing. I have a hearing for uncontained trash. I’ve never heard of such madness. If you must, just give me a fine and let’s save ourselves all this trouble, but making me go to court and waste what I assume is going to be 3+ hours simply boggles the mind. What do I even wear to garbage court? Not to brag, but I’ve been to court a few times and I always wore a suit, but I feel like they’ll think I’m making a mockery of the situation if a wear a suit this time. It’d be like wearing a tux to an interview. Do I just wear khakis and a button down? I’m in a pretzel over here trying to pick out the day’s wardrobe. And what about representation? Do I need a lawyer with me? If I get the book thrown at me for the crime of being too messy and having too much trash, is there a chance I go to jail? I know that sounds like a stupid question but you’d say the same if I asked “can you get taken to court for putting trash on the street incorrectly?” I’m gonna take my chances and represent myself because I feel like showing up with a lawyer will also be taken as making a mockery of the situation (also because my lawyer is my uncle and he’d probably tell me to shut up and stop wasting his time if I asked him to come), so hopefully jail time is off the table. That would really suck. Feel like child abusers and garbage offenders are the two felons who really have the hardest time in prison.