In Case You Missed It
On any given day, there could be 75-100 new posts up on this goddamn website. Now granted, there are always some re-blogs and always some posts that are strictly T&A, but there’s still a shit ton that goes on every day. Between all those posts and listening to all the podcasts and trying to actually do a little bit of real work throughout your week, it’s easy to see how you would miss some things here and there. So that’s where In Case You Missed It comes in. A quick week in review on Friday afternoons highlighting the major stories from Monday-Friday for those of you who aren’t able to sit there and read every single post (or just wait for the second something is posted so you can be the first to comment about how shitty the blogger is). You’ll either love this feature, you’ll hate it, or you’ll fall somewhere in the middle and feel completely indifferent towards it.
Monday August 8th: Happy Jim Fisher Day. Jeff Fisher Day (that was a *Jimbo*)
– Now with the Olympics kicking off last Friday night, obviously this week was going to be big on the Rio Games. However, there was an even better achievement of human excellence that was brought to light on Monday and that was the story of Hakeem Olajuwon eating 100 chicken McNuggets during a commercial shoot. One commenter brought this up already but I pray to whatever god you believe in that this story inspires a chicken nugget eat off between Clem, Big Cat and JJ.
– Speaking of how much you would have to shit after eating 100 chicken Mcnuggets, our pal Chaps went and asked the question we’ve all been wondering since the dawn of time; is it acceptable for a cable man (or any worker for that matter) to take a shit at your house? Personally, I say yes. If I have a worker at my house it’s because I don’t know how to do that specific job. And if I don’t let them take a shit, then they could fuck me over and do a terrible job on purpose while fully knowing I wouldn’t know how to fix it. Just plug your nose or go for a walk while the stench clears out.
Advertisement
– A hockey player in the KHL decided to go on a rampage and fight an entire team. (I had to just throw one of m own in here because #pageviews).
– Coachella (the incredibly popular music festival) is threatening to send a cease and desist to Couchella (the live podcast show featuring 3 idiot bloggers sitting on a couch cracking dick jokes). Pretty sure PMT already trademarked sending cease and desists so I guess they’ll have to cease and desist Coachella’s cease and desist. Very excited to see how this all plays out.
Tuesday August 9th
– One of the better story lines of the entire summer so far–Tim Tebow is pursuing a career in professional baseball. ow I decided to go out and do a little of my own investigative journalism on this one so stay with me here. Time Tebow was born in 1987. The Minnesota Twins won the World Series in 1987. Billy Beane played like 12 games for the Twins in 1987. Brad Pitt played Billy Beane in the movie “Moneyball”. Moneyball came out in 2011. Tim Tebow won an NFL playoff game with the Broncos in the 2011 season. What did we find out there? Tim Tebow will win the World Series.
– Now Tebow attempting to become a baseball player should have been the biggest story from Tuesday. But it was completely out done by Davey Pageviews asking “Do The Olympics Need ISIS?“. Personally, I’d love nothing more than to watch American athletes beat the shit out of ISIS athletes. And then we get to execute them at the podiums after.
– Speaking of the Olympics, there has never been an Olympian who has better represented the common men of the world than this fat Ethiopian swimmer (Big Cat’s African brother).
Wednesday August 10th: We lost a good one on Wednesday. RIP John Saunders
– It was hard to tell if Michael Phelps became the greatest winner of all time after the 200m butterfly or if Chad Le Clos became the biggest loser of all time. I think it was a combination of both. But who would have thought that a South African swimmer would become such a public enemy in America right up there with the likes of obesity and debt?
– What do Michael Phelps, David Portnoy and Malia Obama all have in common? Well they all love to get down with a little bit of the greenery. Malia got put on blast for smoking at Lollapolooza and if she’s not careful, she may end up winning 22 gold medals. The horror.
– Turns out the story of a high school football team in the suburbs of Philly hazing each other by shoving broom sticks up their asses was nothing more than a series of fantastic lies. Stoga! Stoga! Stoga!
– Some idiot decided to try scaling the Trump Tower with suction cups before getting bundled by NYPD about a third of the way up. Most uneventful building climb ever.
Thursday August 11th
– Spags checked in with one of the only rational takes the internet had to offer regarding the underwater cameras for women’s water polo at the Olympics. Give it a read if you are a fan of level-headed discussion.
– I doubt you missed this one but it’s still such a phenomenal moment in American history. Donald Trump called Barack Obama the founder of ISIS. This tweet from Hillary sounds exactly like someone who founded ISIS would want her to say.
– The Canadian broadcast completely botched the call of last night’s Phelps/Lochte race after mixing up the lane numbers and calling the whole thing as if Lochte was in the lead. For those of you who don’t know the guy on the call, Elliotte Friedman is one of the best hockey guys out there. So everybody is allowed to get one good laugh at his mix up but after that, no more. If you continue to make fun of him any more after that, you’re not allowed to follow him when he crushes his NHL Trade Deadline coverage next season. this rule will be strictly enforced.
Friday August 12th: That is today.
Advertisement
Banks has been slaving away on his Olympic coverage all week so here are all those blogs in cased you missed any. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
Smokeshow of the Week: Natalia from ISU
