Don't Steal This Guy's Packages Or Else You'll Be Stealing His Dog's Poop

Fox - Victor “The Snakemann” is no stranger to stolen packages. He’s had four snatched from his current address. He even has a sign telling deliverers not to leave anything outside, but that didn’t stop one woman.

As he watched his home surveillance video of one woman, he knew what she was up to. Luckily for him, he was ready to catch a thief in the act. “I’m sitting here watching her and I’m thinking I could go out and scare the crap out of her, but nahhh…” Victor explained.

Instead, he set a little trap to let the offender know her scam was over. “I had a pile of dog poop in my backyard one day and I’m like, ‘I should just box this up and see if someone wants to steal it.’ So I guess she wanted my poop more than I did,”Victor said.

——

First of all, people who steal packages are the worst. Because when you think about it, it’s actually pretty weird that UPS or Fed Ex will just leave a package on a front step to sit for hours and hours. I don’t trust people to do anything, nevermind to not take 8 seconds to steal a package. It’s crazy that we just trust everyone to be all law-abiding n shit when it comes to packages, even though we know people by definition are the worst and shouldn’t be trusted to do anything.

And that’s the reason this is so great, because Victor The Snakemann is so genuine. He’s so soft spoken, but you know he hates everyone and could rip your limbs off one by one if he wanted to. But instead of doing that, The Snakemann just filled a box with dog poop. And he was so proud of himself. “I guess she wanted my poop more than I did”. Glowing. All he wants to do is relax in his Vegas home and follow the buzzards, but people keep stealing his packages. He could have stopped the lady, who was literally carrying around like a dozen stolen packages, but it made him laugh more to make her get a face full of dog shit. I can’t blame him one bit. You can always order a new package, but it’s not every day you can make dog shit fly into a lady’s face. Score one for the Snakemann.