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Swedish Fish Oreos Will Be Released Next Week And The Mere Thought Of Them Offends Me

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Time- Although Oreo has released a multitude of interesting flavors in the past — remember Watermelon Oreos? — the brand may have just come out with its most unique variety to date: Swedish Fish. The limited-edition cookie — which combines Oreo’s classic chocolate wafers with a cherry candy flavored red creme — will be available exclusively at Kroger supermarkets throughout the country beginning this week. “We know that consumers enjoy variety when it comes to snacking so we create all of our limited-edition flavors to provide surprising new twists people know and love and on occasion, create unexpected and unique flavor combinations that people may never have thought were possible, including our latest from the Wonder Vault, Swedish Fish Flavored Creme Oreo Cookies,” an Oreo spokesperson told TIME in an email.

Not much to love about this idea. I mean I get having two legends of the junk food game teaming up like The Rock and Stone Cold back in the day is great on paper. But this is one of those things that is clearly a bad idea before it even happens. It’s no different than making sure two of your friends that you like on their own don’t get together because you know they will be a shitty couple. Forget the branding cross-promotion nonsense and just name these (likely very very shitty) cookies Cherry Oreos. No need to drag the names of both Hall of Famers through the mud. Taste untasted I am giving these cookies a 2.4. But since it’s #fortheblog, *Turns on Liam Neeson “Taken” voice*
I will find these Oreos, I will eat these Oreos, and I will review these Oreos.

Also just for the record, the Cinammon Bun Oreo is officially an “in the rotation” cookie, alongside Double Stuf Oreo, Mega Stuf (when you are really looking to get crazy), Chewy Chips Ahoy, some sort of Pepperidge Farm grab bag (when you are feeling classy), and the most underrated cookies in the game, Archway Dutch Cocoa.
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And to the Girl Scouts, don’t think I didn’t see you drop your c’Mores cookies news yesterday.

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I’m just so s’mored out, this doesn’t even register on my radar. Maybe I’ll throw a box in next year with my Samoas and Tagalongs order. But I’d appreciate it if the Girl Scouts could use a little bit of creativity and not go with the flavor that every snack food in the country uses. I knew the s’mores gig was up when I saw this.

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smh