NJ.com – Leroy “Blast” Bill Black was much loved, as evidenced by the fact that he has two obituaries printed in today’s Press of Atlantic City.
It might have looked like a mistake on the obituary page this morning when two identical-looking (at first glance) listings appeared on top of one another, but the two different, but similar, obituaries were placed by his wife and girlfriend, respectively.
I’m not married but from everything I’ve gathered from the commenters on the Barstool Confessions blogs every week, it’s that the married life should be avoided at all costs. Dealing with a longtime girlfriend can’t be much easier either, especially if she goes by the name Princess. So if I’m Leroy “Blast” Black right now, I think I’m kind of happy that I’m dead because now he doesn’t have to deal with juggling these two crazy bitches around running the risk of getting caught and stabbed by whichever one feels scorned the most. He finally gets to have a minute or two of peace to himself now. Good for you, Blast. But now let’s move on to the obits themselves to see which one of these two women loved Leroy the most.
Obit #1: Black, Leroy Bill – 55, of Egg Harbor Township died August 2, 2016, at home surrounded by his family. He was born September 30, 1960 to Ethlyn and Wilfred Black. He is survived by his loving wife, Bearetta Harrison Black and his son, Jazz Black. He was also a father to Malcolm and Josiah Harrison Fitzpatrick. Funeral services will be 2PM Sunday, August 7, 2016, Greenidge Funeral Homes, 301 Absecon Boulevard, Atlantic City, where friends may call from 1PM. An additional viewing will be from 4PM – 6PM, Saturday August 6, 2016, also at Greenidge Funeral Home. Condolences may be left at www.greenidgefuneralhomes.com.
It’s sad, yes. This poor loving wife just lost her husband so she’s obviously not focused on writing the best obituary she could possibly write. But putting all that aside, she has to realize she’s in a war here. She needs to know that there is an obit-off going on and she needs to bring the heat a little harder. This was short and to the point. There were no risks taken in the writing of this obit, and while it was a low risk obituary, it was also a low reward.
Obit #2: Black, Leroy “Blast” – 55 of Egg Harbor Township, passed away at home on August 2, 2016 from cancer of the lungs due to fiberglass exposure. He is survived by: his son, Jazz Black; siblings, Donald, Faye “Cherry”, Janet “Vilma”, Lorna “Clover”, Audrey “Marcia”, Sandra “RoseMarie” and a host of other family, friends and neighbors; and his long-tome girlfriend, Princess Hall. He is predeceased by his parents. Bill was employed as a fiberglass technician at South Shore Contractors and Ocean City Water Park. Funeral services will be 2PM, Sunday, August 7, 2016, Greenidge Funeral Homes, 301 Absecon Boulevard, Atlantic City, where friends may call from 1PM. An additional viewing will be from 4PM – 6PM, Saturday August 6, 2016, also at Greenidge Funeral Home. Condolences may be left at www.greenidgefuneralhomes.com.
Now Princess Hall knew exactly what she was doing as soon as she starting putting the pen to the paper. Firing the nickname of the deceased as well as the nicknames of all the siblings right away leads me to believe that Princess Hall was a little tighter with the fam than Bearetta was. Is it possible that she just made all those nicknames up on her own and none of those people actually like to be called by said names? Yes. It’s actually very likely that’s the case. But on paper, it looks like Princess Hall has the upper hand already. Then to go ahead and leave Bearetta out of the obit completely, just relegating her to “a host of other family” was about as cold blooded as it gets. That’s not a line you just throw out there all willy nilly. Like I said, she knew exactly what she was doing and that line was meant to cut deep. Also, she does a great job at calling out Leroy’s employers and not letting them get away with this one without catching a little heat first. Basically called them murderers right to their face.
So I think on all counts, you have to throw Princess Hall the win on this one. Maybe they can settle their differences further at the service because I hate to see a loving wife take an L to a side bitch. 1-0 Princess as we currently stand though. You can’t take that away from her. Lastly, fuck cancer. It’s a horrible disease and we can only hope that one day those science nerds can figure their shit out and hit us up with a cure.