The 2016 Rio Olympics Kicked Off In The Most Fitting Way Possible - They Lost The Keys To The Soccer Stadium and Had To Have The Fire Department Come Cut The Lock

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You honestly could not script a more appropriate start to the Rio Olympics. I mean you just can’t. The soccer game that is kicking everything off two nights before the opening ceremony delayed for over an hour because they lost the key to the stadium. The fucking key. To the whole stadium. I know Rio isn’t exactly in an economic boom period but are you seriously trying to tell me there’s not a spare key with someone, somewhere that can open the main gate to the first event of your city’s Olympics? There’s just one guy walking around with a single key on a little keychain he got at an airport somewhere next to a bottle opener and a CVS card? I would say that’s outrageous, but it’s really not, it makes so much sense…too much sense. There’s been so much buildup to what a disaster this is all going to be there’s just no possible way the first night could have gone smoothly with no screw ups anywhere.

I will say though, little glass half full situation, it is nice to see the fire department is in fact working.