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Let's Talk About Chad Maybe Shitting His Pants And Getting Kicked Off "Bachelor In Paradise"

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Remember Chad? Of course you do. He’s probably the most famous character in Bachelorette history. Even if you don’t watch the show, you are aware of Chad Johnson because he’s a goddamn hurricane of entertainment. Known for slamming plates of meat, ripping Evan’s shirt, threatening to rip people’s bodies apart and throw them in the water and of course threatening to find Jordan Rodgers after the show was over. He also made lots super coherent points along the way but nobody remembers those because that’s not the fun stuff.

 

Well guess what? Chad came back last night for Bachelor In Paradise! If you don’t know what Bachelor in Paradise is, it’s the greatest show on television. It’s even better than The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. It’s better because there’s literally nothing on the line. Zip. Zilch. None. It’s just castoffs from previous seasons of The Bachelor/Bachelorette shows who get drunk on a beach in Mexico (shout out to Jorge) and fuck each other. It’s AWESOME and perfect situation for our guy Chad.

 

So what’s the first thing Chad does? He naturally finds himself attracted to the craziest Bachelor girl of the last couple of years, Lace from Ben H’s season. Lace and Chad proceed to make out/fuck/fight in the hot tub. Lace and Chad are like Harley Quinn and The Joker. Some Weeeeeeeeeeird shit goes on between the two of them. You’ll see.

 

 

Once that inevitably falls apart, Chad gets BLACK OUT drunk and does lots more Chad things. Such as tell everybody to suck a dick, say he wants to get murdered together with Canadian Daniel and, by far worst of all, made some super awkward “jokes” about Sarah Herron only having one arm which somehow didn’t lead to him getting socked in the face (“Fuck that one arm bitch” was his exact quote I believe). There are even rumors that he shit his pants while he slept. He definitely pissed himself while sleeping. Chad appears to be fighting the rumors of their being shit stain in his drawers. Not sure if we’ll ever know the truth.

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Anyway. That all led to Chad getting kicked off the show by Chris Harrison in front of everybody. I’ll say this. I can’t think of a person I would least like to disappoint than Chris Harrison. We’re talking I’d be more okay with disappointing my Dad (which happens A LOT) than Chris Harrison. He gives Chad one of the better reality TV scoldings I’ve ever seen. Chad of course took it all in stride and didn’t cause a scene on his way out.

 

 

SIKE. He told Chris Harrison to go fuck himself which feels a lot like telling a mob boss to go fuck himself. Chris Harrison has disappeared people for a lot less. Chad also said Harrison drinks mimosas and wears a robe which admittedly was funny but I love Harrison as a father so I didn’t laugh.

 

So that’s the end of Chad…………or is it?

 

 

PS- Chad has since apologized to Sarah Herron for the jokes he made about her

 

Which Sarah did and didn’t accept