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Cowboys LB Rolando McClain Reportadly Has Gained 40 Pounds With The Aid Of The Infamous "Purple Drank"


(That photo will never get old. Ever.)

Rolando McClain has been suspended for the first 10 games of the 2016 season for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy, and one report indicates the linebacker may never play for the Dallas Cowboys again. According to Jason Cole of Bleacher Report, McClain has been abusing “purple drank,” which is a combination of Sprite and codeine (found in powerful cough syrup) that gives it a purple color. The recreational drug can lead to rapid weight gain, which is what Cole claims has happened with McClain. Cole was told by a source that McClain has gained about 40 pounds and is “incredibly out of shape.” The same source says it is “almost impossible” to imagine McClain playing for the Cowboys again. Dallas re-signed McClain to a one-year, $5 million deal this offseason after he averaged 80.5 tackles, 1.5 sacks and 1.5 interceptions over the previous two seasons. Coaches were reportedly unhappy with him after he missed offseason workouts, and the situation got even uglier when training camp began. You can read more about that here. McClain has a long history of getting himself into trouble off the field, so the Cowboys knew what they were getting into by keeping him employed. From the sound of it, they could end up cutting ties with him in the near future.

SIPPIN’ ON SOME SIZZZZZZZURPPPP!!! Honestly, what a damn shame. No, I’m not talking about McClain wasting away his obvious talent that made him the 8th overall pick and even saw a career resurgence in Dallas after seemingly washing out in Oakland. No, no, no. I’m talking about another rich life gone sour to the delicious vice that is Purple Drank. The seemingly best drink featuring cough syrup this side of a Flaming Moe. The real question is how much of this shit did McClain actually drink for him to put on 40(!!!) pounds in one off-season? The dude must have wiped clean the entire Southeast of all things grape and Promethizine. Good for him.

At least now McClain can join his fellow SEC Heavyweight JaMarcus Russell in having a few codeine cocktails together. JaWalrus was the true pioneer of how to throw a career away to the deadly cough syrup and Arby’s one-two punch.