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Science Says Flossing Is A Total Waste Of Time

NY PostIt’s one of the most universal recommendations in all of public health: Floss daily to prevent gum disease and cavities. Except there’s little proof that flossing works. Still, the federal government, dental organizations and manufacturers of floss have pushed the practice for decades. Dentists provide samples to their patients; the American Dental Association insists on its website that “Flossing is an essential part of taking care of your teeth and gums.” The federal government has recommended flossing since 1979, first in a surgeon general’s report and later in the Dietary Guidelines for Americans issued every five years. The guidelines must be based on scientific evidence, under the law. Last year, the Associated Press asked the Departments of Health and Human Services and Agriculture for their evidence, and followed up with written requests under the Freedom of Information Act. When the federal government issued its latest dietary guidelines this year, the flossing recommendation had been removed, without notice. In a letter to the AP, the government acknowledged the effectiveness of flossing had never been researched, as required. The AP looked at the most rigorous research conducted over the past decade, focusing on 25 studies that generally compared the use of a toothbrush with the combination of toothbrushes and floss. The findings? The evidence for flossing is “weak, very unreliable,” of “very low” quality, and carries “a moderate to large potential for bias.” The majority of available studies fail to demonstrate that flossing is generally effective in plaque removal,” said one review conducted last year. Another 2015 review cites “inconsistent/weak evidence” for flossing and a “lack of efficacy.”

Huge news for Team No Floss! This one feels good. This one feels really vindicating. I’ve had Flossers look down on me before. Ive seen Flossing Snobs look down their nose at me before when they hear I dont take a piece of goddam string and run it through the cracks in my teeth. Like I’m the weirdo. The people shoving their hands in their mouths with wax rope while their gums bleed – yea, they are the normal ones. Fuck outta here. I’ve stood my ground on that one for 31 years. I floss maybe once or twice a year. The same time I wash my jeans is when I decide to floss. And now after all this time me and all my brethren on Team No Floss have finally been justified: flossing doesnt do shit.

The biggest scam since the greeting cards industry invented Valentines Day. The biggest hustle since the weathermen and the dairy farms got in bed together and decided to create snowstorm hysteria so people would buy milk. The government and dentists and fucking Oral B all in cahoots spinning this elaborate lie that you need to clean the millimeters inside your gums. Selling millions and millions of feet of floss because they have the whole idiotic world in the palm of their hands. With nothing to back it up. The dentist telling me that the reason my gums are pouring with blood is because I didnt floss?? Maybe its that you’re poking my gums with your fucking hook, pal! Because flossing doesnt mean a thing!

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Man oh man I would punch myself right in the dick if I got played by these people and spent my whole life buying floss and scraping my teeth with string. Really shitty day for Team Floss. Incredible day for people with brains.

PS – I just need a story about how recycling isnt real and I’ll be totally set.